


Perseveration

by thesoulofchaos



Category: Atypical (TV 2017)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-30 22:49:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17232617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesoulofchaos/pseuds/thesoulofchaos
Summary: Sam just wants more people to understand...





	Perseveration

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2018 12 Days of Christmas challenge

Choices are hard.

Well. Choices are hard for  _ me.  _ Other people, like Zahid, seem to find choices easy. I have never in the whole time I have known Zahid  _ (and it’s a long time, not as long as my family, but still quite long) _ , I have never seen him struggle for more than a minute with making a decision.

Casey says it’s because I perseverate. People have used that word before to describe me. It means to repeat or prolong an action, thought or utterance after whatever prompted it has ended. That seems quite logical to me. I asked her if that was what I was doing when I needed to calm down and I repeated the four penguins  _ (Adelie, Chinstrap, Emperor, Gentoo).  _ But she said no, that was self-regulating. Which I knew. I’ve talked to Zahid about it too, and that didn’t help.

I could talk to Mum...Elsa.... I’m not sure if I’m meant to though when Dad’s still angry at her and I’m nearly an adult, perhaps it’s something I need to work out by myself. I’ll add it to my list for researching. 

But anyway, choices are hard for me because when I need to make a decision I start thinking about all the possible outcomes of my decision and then I get stuck.

Julia said that I was talking myself out of new things without even getting to the starting line. Well, she used to say that but then I explained that I didn’t really like expressions like that which don’t make sense and she stopped. I think I understand what she meant now though.

Sometimes people think I get stuck on decisions because I want someone else to make the decision for me - that’s not true. It’s annoying when people talk over me and make my decisions for me. Elsa...Mum...used to do that a lot but she has gotten better at not doing it now. I should make a note to congratulate her on that. I wonder if she would like a post-it note with her lunch. I wonder if she takes lunch… I’ll add that to the list to find out too.

Other people think I don’t make decisions because I want to avoid doing things that aren’t my special interests. That’s just ridiculous. If I only wanted to do the things I like the most, I would spend all my time on penguins and then I wouldn’t eat or drink and I would die. Then I wouldn’t be able to learn about penguins anymore because I’d be dead.

I think it would help if people could see inside my head and then they would be able to see all the work that goes into making a decision. Then maybe people might be a bit more sympathetic. 


End file.
